


A Crimson Kiss, An Open Heart

by RadioactivePaws



Series: Blood Stained Kiss [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Gore, self harm mentions, serial killer au, they’re gonna kill people idk how else to tag it, trans Santana
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-11-28 03:37:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18203000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadioactivePaws/pseuds/RadioactivePaws
Summary: A reimagining of an old fic of mine. Serial Killer Pezberry AU. Will also include Quinn and Brittany later.Santana keeps a close circle of friends, the only people she really cares about. Rachel keeps the same circle, wanting to protect herself from anyone else. When Rachel is harmed, they both lose their chains and decide to let it all go. To be free.





	1. The Warning

Hello

I’m putting this here instead of the first chapter to make sure people read it. 

This is a reimagining of an old fic of mine (Blood Stained Soul) on ffnet. It is the same premise (serial killer au) but with a different story and start up. However it will have many similarities which is why I’m explaining this, in case anyone happened to read the old one.

I’m the author of both so it’s cool.

I do want to put this warning here though.

This fic will contain depictions of death, gore, abuse, PezBerry killing people and possibly fucking in the gore (not sure if I’m going to write smut this time). 

Some Glee charaters will die (mostly minor but possibly others.) 

There will be talk and depictions of self harm. Rachel will have problems with cutting so be aware of that. 

Santana is a trans character who is not getting bottom surgery and is comfortable with her body that way so there will be a girl with a dick in here, I know y’all love to scream about that kind of thing but as a trans person who is comfortable with their lower half, this is something I’m most comfortable writing. 

Santana, Rachel, Quinn and Brittany are all mentally ill in some way so that will be sort of discussed but mostly just described.

This is written for fun, it’s just something I had in my head, so some facts will probably be wrong. I’m not going to spend lots of time investigating things for this fic ao forgive any glaring problems. 

If you continue on knowing these things but still want to leave a scathing review, you do you but I warned you so that’s your own fault. 

To those who are interested and continue on, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this mess.


	2. Say Hello To Rachel Berry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An introduction of Rachel’s past in this au

The past was riddled with problems, pain and darkness having been a friend all her life. 

Rachel Berry was used to being an entity of sunshine, trying her best to be positive and strong. Being larger than life while going after her dreams meant that life could never fully crush her. 

Growing up in Lima was always hard, small towns weren’t the most accepting and her family was a perfect target for bullying, but she found her support system pretty quickly when she met Santana Lopez in fourth grade. 

She remembered the day perfectly, fondly. It was in art class and she had just finished her painting. Santana had been sitting across the room and Rachel grinned at her when she saw that Santana was smiling her way. They had never talked, Santana was new still and Rachel hadn’t been able to greet her yet but having anyone look at her so softly made her happy. 

Three boys had walked past her, one bumping into her chair to distract her while the other two dumped paint all over her canvas. She was shocked, tears immediately jumping to her eyes, and then Santana was there. She shoved the boys away, punching one in the face when he tried to push back. When they slunk away, not wanting to report it to the teacher when it was obvious they had started it, Santana had turned to her and wiped away her tears with that same soft smile. 

From that moment on, Santana never left her side. They were inseparable, even when they added Quinn Fabray, Brittany Pierce and Noah Puckerman to their close knit friendship. 

Things were still hard, she was never allowed to forget that life was unfair, not once. 

The worst year was when she turned fourteen. She was in eighth grade and her birthday was spent at Brittany’s house with her friends. Her fathers were out of town for work, not for the first time but it was the first birthday they missed. She tried to ignore it, ignore the painful worry that ate at her stomach that December but it never went away. 

Then when she spent Christmas day with Santana in her empty house, crying on her shoulder because her dads had called to say they wouldn’t be home for a few more weeks, she knew things would never be okay again. 

Things only got worse. She had to lie the rest of the school year, lie to the only people who were there for her through everything because her fathers never came home. Apparently seeing that they’d left her home alone for weeks here and there ever since she was eleven without a problem had been enough for them to decide they could leave for months. Six months to be exact. 

Then six turned to eight and eight turned to ten. By the middle of her freshman year in high school, Rachel knew they would never come back. 

Freshman year was a hell in itself for her. That summer had been hard, with the girls joining Cheerios training camp and Noah starting to work a summer job to appease his mother. Rachel had no one for three months and then when school started again, she realized she wouldn’t have anyone ever again. 

While her friends were never outright mean to her, Santana even talking to her in the halls when she could get away with it, they didn’t stop the bullying. No one ever tried to keep the slushies from hitting her and the insults flew freely in the halls. 

She found solace in her drive to succeed, in music and in moments of weakness, in a knife. The self harm started after her birthday her fathers missed, got worse over the summer, and while it still happened in freshman year, Rachel tried her damned best to stop.

She didn’t want those who harmed her to be right, she didn’t want to be a failure and so she tried her best to keep from slipping into that vice again.

It was difficult, she found herself hiding her bandaged arms and legs more than once in her dance classes. 

The summer between freshman and sophomore year was surreal to say the least. It was similar to the last summer, the girls at camp while Noah worked, but this time she got letters from Santana and Quinn. This time Noah showed up at least twice a week to hang out. 

Apologies were given, heavily, and Rachel’s heart ached with the want to forgive, but she knew she had to wait. She knew that those apologies would mean nothing if things stayed the same at school.

So she told them as much. Explained she wished to let them back in but she was afraid and hurt, she needed them to prove it.

Which is why she found herself walking the halls of McKinley early on the first day, her nerves not letting her sleep anymore, waiting to see what would happen. 

“It begins.” The words were whispered to her locker as she heard students begin to arrive, a spike of fear and hope sliding along her spine and causing her to close her eyes tightly against it all. She wanted to believe them, wanted her heart to be back to where it used to be, but she was so afraid.

“Rachel.” That voice brought her out of her head, her eyes opening to a vision she hadn’t had in so long. Santana Lopez leaning casually against the locker next to hers, eyes shining with concern and so much affection that she felt her heart thump heavily in her chest. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yes.” Rachel swallowed past the lump in her throat, her eyes misting a little when she felt Quinn move to her other side and saw Brittany and Noah coming their way as well. “I think I will be just fine.”

Santana’s grin was blinding, a smile that had been taken away the previous year. A smile Rachel had missed so much that she immediately started crying. 

“Whoa, hey, don’t cry!” Arms wrapped around her tightly, Santana pulling her in close as Quinn settled a hand on her back.

“Rachel, it’s okay. We meant what we said in our letters. I’m head Cheerio this year and San is my second, we make the rules and we say that you’re safe.” Rachel turned her head from Santana’s chest to catch Quinn’s eyes, seeing the truth there and the warmth she had missed so much. “I know we have to work to fix what happened last year, we fucked up and we know it, but we’re going to try. If you want that, I mean.”

“I do. I missed you guys so much.” Something in her voice brought a barely there whimper from Santana’s throat as Quinn just nodded sadly at her, still rubbing her back.

“We missed you too.”

“Rachel!” Brittany’s voice broke through and she was suddenly swept from Santana’s arms and into Brittany’s hug instead. She saw Noah standing awkwardly behind her, a smile on his face as he shrugged. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright, Brittany. I know you want to fix it and so I forgive you, all of you, but that doesn’t make it perfect right away.” Rachel smoothed her shirt down when she was released, watching as all four of them were focused on what she was saying.

She felt powerful and protected all at once, a warm happiness she hadn’t felt in over a year rushing through her chest. 

“I need you to show me you mean it.” They all nodded at once and Rachel giggled, catching the soft smile Santana gave her at the sound. “I was going to sign up for Glee club, if you would join with me so I can spend time with you all again and maybe keep me safe in the halls, it would be a wonderful way to do that.” 

They all spoke their agreement at once, causing more giggles to erupt from Rachel as she watched these four trip over themselves to get her approval. These four leaders of the whole school doing everything they could to make her happy. 

The first time someone slushied her that year, they ended up with a black eye and a broken nose while Rachel was allowed to use the Cheerio locker room to clean up. She spent the rest of the day wearing Santana’s clothes, at her insistence, and being guarded by said girl.

No one slushied Rachel again. 

The first time someone threw an insult her way, sneering a comment about her dads in a way that caught her so off guard she felt tears stinging her eyes, they ended up in the dumpster with LOSER written in sharpie across their forehead. Rachel spent that day with Quinn’s arm across her shoulders, cold eyes daring the other students to say a word to them. 

No one ever insulted Rachel out loud again. 

Glee was a little awkward. Rachel was determined, she wanted it to work and she needed it to work. For her future, for her happiness. 

Most people in Glee were already annoyed with her intensity and her insistence to sing solos, her need for everyone to practice until their ears bled. So when she was protected by the four who had joined with her, when those four stood up for her and made sure everyone heard her ideas, they were even more angry with her. 

Insults and barbs were thrown at her in ways that the others couldn’t stop, especially not when Mr. Schuester didn’t do anything to stop it either. He tried, tried to keep things in order but most of the time, he seemed a little fed up with Rachel as well. 

Still, she was determined to make it work. So when Rachel proposed Quinn and Santana putting a ban on bullying the club so that they would have less of a reason to hate her, they immediately agreed. 

Of course the next meeting when the Club profusely thanked the Cheerios for putting out a law to leave them all alone, they all ignored the fact that they had pointed to Rachel and said that it happened because she asked them to. 

“This is getting old.” Santana growled under her breath, eyes watching Rachel as she warmed up at the piano. “She’s not even doing anything to them right now but I can hear them whispering about her.”

“I know.” Quinn sounded just as annoyed, keeping an eye on Rachel as well. “We can’t do much to fix it, though. They know she won’t do anything when she wants this team to work together so bad.” She sighed, rubbing her head before she bumped Santana’s shoulder, shrugging as soon as she got her full attention. “She needs this, it’s important to her so all we can do is stay. We have her trust back and I don’t want to fuck that up again so we can’t do anything bad, but maybe we can do something a little underhanded.”

“What are you thinking?” The idea perked Santana up, wanting to find a way to fix things.

“Easy. We ignore them. Their suggestions, their questions, everything they say is just suddenly silence. They know we have the power in the school and if we say they’re ghosts, then that’s what they are.” Quinn smirked, watching as understanding bloomed in Santana’s eyes.

“So even if they sing around Rachel…”

“All anyone will hear is Rachel. It’ll drive them nuts but technically, we won’t have to do anything to them. We don’t even actually need to say anything to anyone. If they see us ignoring them to such a degree then the sheep in the halls will just follow.” 

Santana grinned and nodded her agreement, her grin softening when Rachel bounced up the risers to join them. 

“What are you two whispering about up here?” There was a playful sparkle in her eye, one she hadn’t had for so long. “Also, where did Brittany and Noah disappear to?”

“We were discussing a surprise for you.” Rachel’s eyes widened in excitement and both girls couldn’t help but mirror her energy. “Is it okay if we come over this weekend?”

“Santana, of course.” Rachel bit her lip and then smiled a little, a blush rising to her cheeks. “You guys have more than proven what I mean to you these past few weeks, I’ve forgiven you all fully and I want you to know that you’re always welcome in my home. Do you still have your keys?” She watched as they both nodded, wide eyed at her. Rachel had given them keys back in seventh grade when she asked them to stay with her on and off while her dads were out on business trips. “Then use them.”


	3. Say Hello To Santana Lopez

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The same as before only this time it’s Santana

Santana Lopez was never the child her parents had hoped for but even so, she knew they loved her unconditionally. 

When she told them she hated her name at the age of five and demanded to be called Santana, they were confused but did as she asked. When she was seven, she told them she wanted to be a girl when they said she could be anything in the world. They immediately changed her pronouns when the spoke about her and took her shopping to get some new things she wanted to feel more like herself. 

Everything was legally changed by the time she was starting fourth grade, the year she met Rachel Berry and told her parents that she’d marry her some day. 

When he parents died, a few months before her thirteenth birthday, Santana’s world shattered. She’d never been great with emotions or connecting to people, outside if her four close friends, all she had were her parents. 

Her aunt took her in, the entire family suddenly supporting her every decision. When she asked to be put on hormone therapy immediately, they discussed it with her doctor and she was on estrogen faster than she ever believed possible.

When she asked about top surgery because the hormones weren’t going fast enough for her, when her need for instant gratification finally hit it’s high when she started high school, they scheduled the surgery for the summer between sophomore and junior year. Enough timefornher to go to both summers of Cheerios boot camp and for her to possibly choose to wait longer, the second reason a flimsy chance from her family trying to have some kind of control over her. 

Then they found out none of them could touch what they really wanted from her.

Her parents were well off, rich really, and she was their only child. Her inheritance, the house and the money and everything else they ever owned, was to be given to her slowly over the years to support her until she hit twenty one. Then everything was hers in total. 

The family wanted it, they wanted the money and the grand house that she lived in with her aunt and her kids. Santana knew this, she was aware of their motivations a few weeks after the funeral. 

Her aunt stopped caring when she realized she couldn’t just take the money. She still did what she needed to for Santana, with school and doctors and such, but otherwise she completely ignored her. 

Her therapist told her she was being paranoid but Santana knew better. Therapy had been something she’d attended since she was ten and she broke ten bones in a little boys body for picking on Rachel. Ten bones, one for each year she hadn’t had Rachel near her and he was saying they would all be better off without Rachel.

She was aiming for his head when the teacher finally pried the baseball bat from her hands. Her therapist said it was rage problems with a touch of sociopathy, Santana said it was justice. 

Justice that she wished she’d kept in mind when they hit freshman year of highschool. 

Rachel was always there for her, was the one to comfort and console and make sure she didn’t feel completely insane. Yet when they left middle school and summer came, she left her behind to attend Cheerios boot camp with Quinn and Brittany.

Don’t get it twisted, she loved them too. There were only four living people in the world who meant anything to Santana Lopez and they were two of the lucky few, but Rachel had always been different. 

Then Freshman year started and she was ordered by the head cheerio to stay away. Loser’s weren’t allowed to mingle with them and for some inexplicable reason, she hated Rachel Berry with a passion.

It didn’t help that their elementary and middle school years were spent with their class separated between two buildings. Now they all collided in one big high school and Rachel was at the bottom of it all because of one Cheerio’s hate. 

Santana wanted to die every day that year. Watching Rachel be so sad the first week hurt enough, especially when she found out that Puck hadn’t even tried to stay around her when he wasn’t working. 

She left her alone for a whole summer and now she had to leave her alone for a whole year. 

Santana’s rage at the situation exploded just after winter break when she caught Rachel walking into the school, freezing as she crunched through the snow, wearing a slushy before she even reached the building. 

She’d broken two of her fingers on a wall before Quinn could stop her. They worked it out then, they’d already planned on Quinn getting head cheerio the next year to fix things, especially since Coach already liked her for it, but Santana made her promise.

It had to be fixed. 

When summer hit, she threatened Puck with castration if he didn’t spend time with Rachel while they were gone. Cheerio Boot Camp lasted all summer the first two years of high school and she couldn’t be there to fix it until they went back to school, but he could.

He could keep her from spiraling. Santana just hoped it wasn’t too late.

The first few weeks of school were hard Sophomore year. Not because of Rachel, no that was easy and like she’d filled the hole in her heart back in. No, it was hard to watch how she flinched sometimes when she caught sight of the uniform or how Rachel would get that frightened look in her eyes before she realized it was Santana.

Her heart ached for all she went through in just a year, more so since Santana knew of all the bullying that happened before High School. She had been there to help with that, though. With this, Rachel had been alone. 

Still the open invitation to go back to her house, to use the keys she’d kept whenever they wanted, came faster than she anticipated and Santana jumped at the chance.

The other three jumped at it too, remembering how much trust she put in them to give them those keys and knowing that this meant she trusted them again. They wouldn’t fuck it up again, they couldn’t bare to see the devastation on her face if they ever did.

“I have to tell you something.” Rachel’s voice was soft, so quiet Santana would have missed it if she wasn’t so focused on the other girl.

It was the weekend and just as they’d asked, they were all planning to crash Rachel’s house for the next two days. Santana decided to show up friday night, wanting to get some time alone with her before Quinn and Brittany dragged Puck along the next morning. 

“Okay.” Santana watched her carefully, moving on the couch so they were even closer. Rachel curled up on her lap when she did, tucking her head under Santana’s chin as her hands gripped at her top. Warmth surged through her at how Rachel wiggled until she’d eliminated any space between them and her arms hugged her just as close protectively, one hand moving along her back in a soothing motion she knew would help. 

“They never came back.” The tears in Rachel’s voice were apparent, thick waves of sorrow drenching every word as she trembled. “My dads. They left that December and I said not to worry, they’d be back soon, because I didn’t want you worrying about me when you were so stressed about leaving for the summer anyway. I didn’t want to keep you from going to camp so I lied when I said they’d come back but had to leave again. I lied when I said they’d be home for the summer.” 

Rage boiled in Santana’s gut as she processed what Rachel meant. Anger at her fathers, at Puck for not realizing when he was the only one who would have been able to that summer, and at herself for not realizing Rachel lied to her. She’d always been able to tell when she lied but not this time, not when it counted. 

“Are you angry with me?” Rachel’s voice had moved from just sad to a defeated whimper and it broke Santana’s heart.

“No, never.” She tilted her head, pulling Rachel away just enough to catch her eyes as she wiped away her tears. “I’m angry with them, I’m angry at myself for not noticing, but not at you. I hate that you lied but I know why you did and I could never be angry with you for this.”

The flood broke at that as they sat there together, cuddled close and crying until Rachel fell asleep against her chest.

“I’m not leaving you alone ever again, Rae.” Santana whispered against Rachel’s neck when she realized she’d passed out. “I’ll protect you like I always promised and I’ll be over here so much more. I’ll never hurt you again, I swear, I'd rather die.”


	4. The Road Ahead Is Shadowed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick update to bridge the time between sophomore and junior year. It’s short but the next one will be longer.

The rest of the year flew by for Rachel, a whirlwind of reaffirmed friendships and winning awards for the Glee club. They didn’t win Nationals, though placing third was a win in itself since it was their first year together. Still, she was excited to start junior year in a few months, to see what else was in store for the rest of her high school experience. 

More exciting, however, was the fact that Cheerios camp would only be two weeks in August this year for three of her friends. They had spent June together, going to movies and relaxing by her pool, but now they had to seperate once more. 

Brittany was going on vacation with her family this year, since she had missed it the last two summers, and she was taking Quinn with her so she didn’t have to spend the summer going to a Christian camp her father wanted to send her to. 

Noah had decided to pick up a side job working with Burt on cars to keep saving up money for during the year so she wasn’t sure how much she’d see him. 

So for all of July and the beginning of August, Rachel had Santana all to herself. The idea was thrilling since she’d always been closest to Santana and, even more than that, she had some pretty intense feelings for her. 

She just hoped Santana felt the same.

The past few weeks Rachel had tried to flirt a little more with Santana, more than their usual teasing that happened between all five of them.

While Santana had been receptive and had flirted back just as much, Rachel was still a little iffy about what it could mean. 

“Rae? You ok?” Santana’s voice brought her out of her thoughts, the girl watching her from the pool with worried eyes. She was resting on the edge, her arms folded to hold her up as she let her body float and Rachel was distracted for another moment as she let her eyes slide along her legs until they faded into her swim shorts. 

“Yes, I’m fine.” Her tone was a little huskier than she meant it to be and while her cheeks flushed, she caught the smirk Santana wore. “I was just thinking about everything that has happened so far this year and this summer.”

“Ah, gotcha.” Santana’s eyes dropped to the water and Rachel felt her heart constrict when she realized how that could have sounded. 

“Tana, I don’t mean it in a bad way. I’m not in shock or still wary or untrusting, I was just remembering things and thinking about what fun we’ll have until the new year begins.” As she spoke, she walked over to the pool to st next to where Santana was resting. She slid her legs into the water and grinned when the other girl wrapped her arms around her to use her as an anchor instead of the pool wall. 

“Well I think I like a plan of this all summer.” Santana’s eyes were happy again, that usual softness she held for Rachel shining through easily as she settled her chin on Rachel’s knee. 

“I could agree to that if we still make some trips outside if my home as well. Otherwise we will both get cabin fever and Quinn and Brittany will return home to find us having lost our minds.” Rachel giggled at the look Santana gave her at the dramatic way she said it but she took the nod that came with it as an agreement.

The weeks flew by, every moment spent together a treasured memory Rachel tried to keep hold of. She didn’t want to forget anything.

She wanted to remember how Santana smiled whenever Rachel spoke, eyes adoring and completely focused on every word that fell from her lips. She wanted to remember the days where she woke up to find Santana already there, cooking breakfast and oh so comfortable in her home. Every little moment, she wanted to remember. 

The biggest thing she wanted to remember came the day before Santana had to go off to cheerios camp. They wouldn’t see each other before school, the two week training ending the evening before the first day, and Rachel was dreading the sudden separation.

She’d gotten used to having Santana around all the time, gotten used to not feeling so unendingly lonely. 

“Can I ask you something?” Santana’s voice held nerves she wasn’t used to hearing and Rachel immediately waved her over to sit next to her on the piano bench where she’d been practicing.

“You can ask me anything.” She grabbed Santana’s hands, squeezing gently in support as the other girl sat next to her and breathed out a shaky sigh.

“Do you, I mean, would you go out with me?” 

“Like a date?” Her heart felt like it might burst from her chest.

“Uhm, yea, like today? Before I go to camp? I wanted to ask earlier but I, well fuck, I chickened out and it’s kind of the last chance I’ll have to ask before school so.” Santana trailed off, her eyes betraying her bravado, the nervous fear there shining bright and obvious. 

“Santana, I would love to. I thought you’d never ask.” Rachel’s answer was punctuated by a burst of loud giggles as Santana lifted her up and peppered her face with thankful kisses. 

That whole day was a memory she would forever keep close to her heart. Santana had taken her outside of Lima, to an old school drive in to watch a movie and a little diner that had plenty of vegan options.

It was simple, endearing, and everything Rachel wanted out of a first date with Santana Lopez. 

“Thinkin about Lopez again?” Noah’s amused voice broke through her memories.

“I am, if you must know.” She could feel the flush across her cheeks as he laughed, slinging his arm across her shoulders as they walked through the crowded mall.

“I figured. I’ve had to steer you around people three times already or else you’d have been knocked back on your ass.” His smile was knowing but she could see the slight worry in his eyes.

“Language, Noah.” She smacked his chest gently as he laughed again. “I’m sorry I’m not the most focused at this current moment. It’s almost time for school so I’m beyond thrilled you agreed to accompany me here to pick out some new clothes. I just, I miss her.” Her voice had softened at the end and Rachel felt his arm pull her closer into his side. 

“I get it, Rach. She totally took you out, finally, and ended that shit by asking to be your girlfriend. Like a few hours before she had to leave.” Puck’s eyes narrowed a little in annoyance, he’d told Santana to ask earlier in the summer so they’d have time to be all couple-y before school but she’d waited till the last minute. 

“Don’t be angry with her, Noah. She was terrified when she asked me, on the date and to be her girlfriend at the end of the evening, and it was obvious that she regretted waiting so long. I admit, I’d have preferred more time spent this summer knowing she felt this way but I have to say, to an outside observer, we’ve been dating all summer.” While they hadn’t said anything till that date the previous week, Rachel had to admit that Santana had treated her more like a girlfriend this summer than just a best friend. 

“Yea, yea. I’m still gonna tease her about it.” He groaned a little when she finally chose a store and dragged him inside. “Why did I agree to this shopping spree again?”

“You get to see what my legs look like in my new skirts and jeans before anyone else. Plus I’ll let you help me pick some of my outfits and I will allow you to choose some things that are a little more risqué than I’d normally allow.” Rachel smirked when she heard Puck groan and pick up speed as he followed her.

“Being best friends with four hot girls is such a curse, you all just love to tease me.”

“The friendly teasing does have it’s uses. Now help me decide which jeans look best.”

**Author's Note:**

> Will take prompts for this universe here or at my tumblr ccaduceuss


End file.
